Flipping Your Lid: Teaching Kids How to Manage the Brain's Stress Response

Understanding the Upstairs and Downstairs Brains: A Simple Guide for Teachers (and Kids!)

Picture this: You're teaching a group of third graders, and everything is running smoothly. Suddenly, Aiden and Jake start bickering over a pencil. Before you can say “group work,” Jake is in full meltdown mode, and Aiden, feeling defensive, is about to cry. You're left wondering, "What happened?!" Well, Jake’s downstairs brain took the reins, and Aiden’s is about to follow.

To help you and your students understand what’s going on in their brains, we’ll explore the idea of the upstairs and downstairs brains using two fun metaphors: one for adults and one for kids.

The Horse and Jockey Metaphor for Teachers

Imagine the brain as a team: a horse (downstairs brain) and a jockey (upstairs brain). The horse, aka the amygdala, is strong, fast, and sometimes reactive. Its job is to respond to danger—think fight, flight, or freeze. But, just like a real horse, it needs a jockey, the prefrontal cortex, to guide it. The jockey is the thinker, the planner, and the one who can make calm, thoughtful decisions.

When things are calm, the jockey (upstairs brain) can steer the horse, ensuring it’s going in the right direction. But when emotions get high—like when Jake felt angry about that pencil—the horse might bolt, taking off before the jockey can even grab the reins. In those moments, the downstairs brain is in control, and logical thinking is compromised.

Downstairs Brain (Horse) Behavior:

• Quick reactions, like getting angry or anxious

• Shutting down or withdrawing

• Physical responses, like a racing heart or clenched fists

Upstairs Brain (Jockey) Behavior:

• Problem-solving, like figuring out how to share the pencil

• Regulating emotions, like calming down before speaking

• Thinking ahead, like considering how to resolve conflicts

Strategies for Helping the Jockey Take Back the Reins:

• Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can calm the horse down.

• Name the Feeling: Helping students name their emotions ("I feel frustrated!") engages the upstairs brain.

• Movement Breaks: Getting the body moving can reduce the horse’s (amygdala’s) intensity, making it easier for the jockey to regain control.

The Owl and the Guard Dog Metaphor for Kids

To explain this to children, let’s go to a house with two important animals: a wise owl and a guard dog.

The upstairs part of your brain is like the wise owl. The owl is calm, thoughtful, and knows how to solve problems. It’s the part of your brain that helps you figure out what to do when something tricky happens, like when a friend doesn’t want to share their crayons or when you feel nervous before a big test.

The downstairs brain is like the guard dog. The guard dog is very protective and reacts quickly when it thinks you’re in danger. It might bark, growl, or try to defend you, even when the danger isn’t real—like when Jake thought losing the pencil was a huge emergency.

The Guard Dog: Why We Need It (Even When It Overreacts!)

Before we give the guard dog (downstairs brain) a bad rap, let’s talk about why we need it and how it helps us.

The guard dog’s job is super important: it’s there to keep us safe. When something is dangerous, like if you’re crossing the street and a car comes out of nowhere, the guard dog immediately barks and tells you to get out of the way—no time for the wise owl to make a detailed plan! In these situations, the guard dog’s quick reactions protect us.

The same happens when you feel nervous before a big test or a performance. Your guard dog senses a challenge and wants you to be alert, so it might make your heart beat a little faster, or your stomach feel fluttery. It’s preparing you to take on the challenge!

Downstairs Brain (Guard Dog) Behavior:

The guard dog might trigger one of three common responses: fight, flight, or freeze.

• Fight: You might want to yell, argue, or even hit someone when you’re feeling overwhelmed. That’s your guard dog telling you to fight back!

• Flight: Sometimes, you just want to run away or hide when things get too stressful. That’s the guard dog trying to protect you by getting you out of the situation.

• Freeze: Other times, you might feel like you can’t move or speak. This is your guard dog making you freeze in place because it’s unsure how to handle the danger.

Upstairs Brain (Wise Owl) Behavior:

• Asking for help

• Taking deep breaths to calm down 

• Solving problems, like thinking of ways to share or fix something

When the Guard Dog Overreacts

But here’s the catch: the guard dog sometimes mistakes everyday problems for danger. It thinks, “Oh no, something’s wrong!” even if it’s just a small problem, like losing a pencil or having a disagreement with a friend. In those moments, the guard dog doesn’t realize it overreacts. It just wants to protect you, even though you’re not in danger.

That’s why learning to calm the guard dog down is so important. It’s not about getting rid of it—after all, we need it! It’s about teaching the wise owl to step in and remind the guard dog that everything’s okay so you can think clearly and solve the problem.

By explaining the benefits of the guard dog, students (and adults!) can understand that their quick emotional responses aren’t wrong when there is real danger — they’re just a little too eager to help sometimes. When we learn to calm down and let the wise owl take over, we can handle tricky situations in a way that keeps everyone safe and happy.

Strategies for Calming the Guard Dog:

1. Belly Breathing: Take deep belly breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth, like you’re blowing up a balloon.

2. Count to 10: Counting gives your wise owl time to wake up and quiet down the guard dog.

3. Ask for a Break: Sometimes, stepping away from the situation helps the owl retake charge.

4. Use a Calm Down Spot: Having a cozy place to reset (like a calm corner) can give your upstairs brain time to regain control.

5. Move Your Body: Bounce, shake, or push your hands together to reset your nervous system.

   

Fun Ways to Teach Kids About the Stress Response

This or That Game: Who’s in Charge? Guard Dog or Wise Owl

Here's a list of short examples for a "this or that" activity to help elementary students understand when the amygdala (downstairs brain/Guard Dog) is in control versus when the prefrontal cortex (upstairs brain/Wise Owl) is in control:

Amygdala in Control (Downstairs Brain)

1. You feel like shouting when someone cuts in line.

2. You run away when a loud noise surprises you.

3. You cry when your team loses at recess.

4. You slam the door after arguing with a friend.

5. You freeze when your teacher calls on you unexpectedly.

6. You get scared and hide during a thunderstorm.

7. You push someone when they accidentally bump into you.

8. You feel like throwing your pencil when you can't solve a problem.

9. You feel nervous and can't think during a test.

     10. You scream when someone jumps out to surprise you.

Prefrontal Cortex in Control (Upstairs Brain)

1. You calmly ask the person in front of you to take turns.

2. You take a deep breath and walk away from loud noises.

3. You congratulate the other team, even if you're disappointed.

4. You talk through the argument with your friend instead of getting mad.

5. You take a moment to think before answering your teacher’s question.

6. You remember that thunderstorms will pass, so stay calm.

7. You forgive the person who bumped into you, knowing it was an accident.

8. You ask for help when you’re stuck on a problem instead of getting frustrated.

9. You slow down and breathe deeply when you feel nervous before a test.

10. Knowing it's a joke, you laugh it off when someone tries to scare you.

This or That Game: Who Said It? Guard Dog or Wise Owl

Amygdala (downstairs brain/Guard Dog)

1. "I can’t believe I lost! This is so unfair!"

2. "I feel like crying because I didn’t get my way."

3. "I’m too scared to try something new!"

4. "I’m going to yell so everyone knows I’m upset!"

5. "I just want to run away from this problem!"

Prefrontal Cortex (upstairs brain/Wise Owls)

1. "I didn’t win, but that’s okay, maybe next time."

2. "Even though I’m upset, I can explain how I feel calmly."

3. "It’s okay to try new things, even if they seem scary at first."

4. "Instead of yelling, I’ll use my words to ask for what I need."

5. "I’ll take a deep breath and think of a way to solve this problem."

Story Time: Meet Daniella and Her Guard Dog

One day at school, Daniella was having a great time building a tower with blocks. Suddenly, another student accidentally knocked over her tower. Daniella’s guard dog (downstairs brain) barked loudly! She felt so angry that she wanted to yell and maybe even knock down someone else's tower.

But then Daniella remembered: she also has a wise owl (upstairs brain). She paused, took three big breaths, and told herself, “It was an accident. I can build it again.” The wise owl came to life as Daniella breathed, and the guard dog calmed down. She asked the other student for help rebuilding, and they soon laughed together.

Putting It into Practice in the Classroom

Next time any of your students (or perhaps even yourself) let their guard dog take over, you’ll know what’s happening and how to help. By teaching them about their horse and jockey or wise owl and guard dog, you give them tools to understand and regulate their emotions. And when the downstairs brain takes over, you can be there with strategies to bring the upstairs brain back to the driver’s seat.

Be well,

Christine